Personal Statement
Hubris
For as long as I can remember I have always been the best or one of the best players on the field. I never doubted for one minute that I would be moved up to the varsity football team as a sophomore and never did I doubt that I would be a starter. The summer between my freshman and sophomore year, I tackled the challenge on the field as a dedicated athlete but also one that was overconfident, who preferred to make excuses for my errors and refused to acknowledge that perhaps I wasn’t the best anymore. My parents warned me that one day, I would no longer be the best and that my natural talent would hit a plateau that will require tremendous dedication and sacrifice to overcome. I patronized them by listening and giving them my attitude filled response of, “I know. I’ll be fine”. Throughout the summer, my pride got in the way of eating right, gaining the weight that I had set as a goal and attending the training that is critical to my development as an athlete. As I made error after error on the football field I became more and more frustrated and more and more defensive. I even found myself blaming my fellow athletes for my errors. Soon, I began to consider leaving Bishop O’ Dowd. I thought, obviously they don’t value me as a player so it must be “them” that have the problem and not me. The final weeks before school began I went down a path of self-reflection and with wise counsel became aware that this was perhaps one of the most important moments in my life.
I don’t think I have ever felt more humiliated in my entire life. Day after day I hit the field completely confident that I knew exactly what my job was and how to execute it. Day after day I was yelled at for once again not understanding my route or my job. At one point the coach even threatened to pull me off the field and onto the sidelines. Then one day, one of the coaches approached me and took the time to show me what I was doing wrong. He calmly walked me through the play over and over so I would remember it. Finally I got it, but it would take a lot more for my coaches to gain trust in me on the field. I was then told that I wouldn’t be starting and would have to continue to prove myself. This was the final straw for me. Quinn Brinnon not starting? That’s not possible. It was time to cut my losses and leave the school. That’s when my “second” mom took me for a ride one night. She helped me see how my pride was going to lead me down a path of misfortune. It is a humbling moment when someone you respect and love communicates the painful truth. The only one I had to blame was myself. I had fallen victim to my own pride.
I decided to stay. It wasn’t easy and some days it continues to still be a battle, but I finally see the light and I even started my sophomore year. My overconfidence and self-indulgent pride prevented me from hearing and listening to those around me. I was caught in a vicious cycle of self -fulfillment that was leading me down a path of misfortune. Each day I practice being confident in who I am on and off the field. That includes doing everything I can to become better at what I love, thoughtfully listening to the suggestions of others and allowing myself to ask questions for clarity. Being confident rather than overconfident is the difference between allowing yourself to fail, and accepting the failure but also learning from your failure. It is about not being afraid to lose or be wrong. I can confidently state, that this was a defining moment in my life and a process of incredible growth. Admitting I was wrong, not the best, and acknowledging that I didn’t follow through with my goals was extremely difficult and humbling. Our pride is something we will all wrestle with at some point and a defining moment that will either empower you or destroy you. It’s your choice.
