Athletic Recruiting Recruiting is Like..

How to Act When a Teammate Gets an Offer Before You

(Flickr - David Poe)

(Flickr – David Poe)

The recruiting process is difficult for a ton of reasons. From the many “dos and don’ts” floating around out there, to time periods of importance, NCAA regulations, schoolwork, grades, and everything to keep track of in between – it’s not always a smooth road.

Something that can really start to mix emotions up? When your friend or teammate gets an offer before you.

Now this can really be tricky, because on the one hand, you want to be really happy for them. They’ve been working very hard on their recruiting — just as you have — and to get an offer and commit is literally a dream come true. And you want to be there for them and share in their joy and excitement.

On the other hand, you may be feeling some pangs of — well — jealousy, envy, or just questioning, like: “Why hasn’t this happened for me?”

Perhaps you now feel like the pressure’s on and are even starting to feel a little frantic.

Whatever emotions you’re feeling, I have five small words for you: it’s going to be okay.

When a teammate gets an offer, don’t feel you need to accept an offer immediately.

Watching a friend or teammate commit – and watching the praise and excitement around their commitment – can make it begin to feel like the pressure’s on.

If you have an offer or offers on the table, it may make you want to speed into a decision in order to not feel left behind. This is not a good reason to commit.

Stick to your plan and your course. Do not let the right choice for someone else speed up the right choice for you.

While you may be on the same team or good friends, you’re still very different people – and athletes – stay true to your recruitment.

Don’t let your friend or teammate’s commitment lead you to feelings of hopelessness.

This is especially important if communication with college coaches and programs hasn’t been as steady for you.

Maybe you don’t have an offer, or are still really working on gaining interest from college coaches.

You have to keep at it, and you have to keep the faith. Everything in life – and in recruiting – happens for a reason, and happens at the right time.

Just because a friend or teammate has taken the next step, doesn’t mean it’s too late for you!

Use your friend or teammate as a source of advice and motivation.

This may take some swallowing of your pride, but use your teammate or friend’s experience to your benefit. Pick their brain, ask them if they had similar conversations, visits, or experiences with college coaches as you. Ask them how they decided to commit.

Instead of looking at him or her as competition, or with a resentful eye, use their insight to your advantage. They will appreciate the questions, and, I have a feeling, will be eager to help.


Another great source to learn about how you can catch up from behind in the recruiting process is the team of scouts and recruiting experts at NCSA Athletic Recruiting. The best way to get started is with a recruiting profile.

About the author
Laura Chmiel

Laura Chmiel is a marketing coordinator and a lead writer for NCSA Athletic Recruiting. As someone with a passion for athletics and education, she graduated from Indiana university with a B.S. in Elementary Education. After school, she gained first-hand experience helping student-athletes and their families get to college.