Haley Thier '20 Recruiting Profile

As I walked out of the three-day leadership conference, I felt a mixture of excitement and anxiety. My mind was just challenged and expanded in so many directions. I was excited about what I had learned, but nervous about what lay ahead. I had work to do.

I have been swimming competitively since I was five years old. My sophomore swim season started off with a bang, but wavered in the end when I got extremely sick the day before districts, which resulted sub-par times. Although I did, however, still qualify for states, the seed of doubt had planted itself into my mind. It has been a journey and a challenge to uproot my self- doubt and lack of confidence, who rear their ugly heads, like monsters ready to strike at the worst possible times.

I honestly couldn’t control what happened next. My father, who has been not only my high school coach, but also my club team coach since I was 10, had his second major heart attack. My range of feelings was challenging to describe. When fear grips at you, you long for your regular routine. I continued to train hard and go to practice every day, submerging myself in what I knew. I was able to keep up the façade... until I wasn’t. My friends noticed that I wasn’t being my loud, sarcastic, and joking self. I slowly stopped wanting to race towards the middle of October (which is totally out of character for me, considering I’m one of the most competitive people you’ll ever meet, and I will turn anything you can think of into a competition). By the time we reached the second meet in December, I started getting terrified before some of my races, and felt like I couldn’t breathe. Barely able to get on the blocks for my race in finals, I froze and felt numb and struggled to breathe. After that meet I started having trouble in practice, and began to isolate myself from everyone, slowly giving way into the darkness that seemed to be smothering me. I felt as if I couldn’t do the thing I loved anymore, which made me feel like a failure.

The opportunity to attend a Leadership Camp, hosted by USA Swimming, changed my outlook on everything. Timothy Alexander, a guest speaker and athlete, began by sharing his story of great loss. As a recruited high school football player, Tim’s life changed after a car accident left him paralyzed. Although Tim identified as a football player, he realized who you are is more important that what you do. What he did was football; who he was, a person who never gives up, became the foundation of his character. Tim’s words came at the right time in my life. He taught me that I, too, could fight my way out of the confusing place that surrounded me.

The change didn’t happen instantly, but over the next few weeks, Tim’s words still echoed in my mind. I got to work. First, I apologized to those I had pushed away by writing them letters explaining some of the internal struggles I had been facing. Letting people in, instead of pushing them away, allowed me to tear down the walls I had built around myself. With my competitive nature and self-confidence returned, I turned my encouragement to those around me. I began to build bridges and connect to not only everyone on my team, but also those around me in school.

Living Tim’s concept of “who you are is more important than what you do” changed my outlook on everything. I have since adopted another expression of his: “We don’t need it to be easy, we just need it to be possible.” What is possible is a great season for me and my team and that starts with being a positive leader.