Codiak Killorn '24 Recruiting Profile

“You have power over your mind, not on outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.” -Marcus Aurelius. Things that happen that you have no control over should not affect you. 

    In middle school, I was a part nerd, part athlete who was in the drama club. I did almost every sport out there, but I was weak. I felt as if I was helpless. I always wanted to be strong but I didn’t know how to. I moved to my grandfather's ranch when I was in 8th grade. For the first month of school, I had no friends and the only family I had in this new town wouldn’t talk to me. As time went on, I made friends and I was beginning to enjoy school. Then, the ski trip rolled around. On the last run of the day I fell and “SNAP” I broke my arm. I couldn’t go anywhere or do anything in order for my arm to heal. I felt powerless. In the time I was in the cast, schools shut down, and I wasn’t able to do anything. I was furious, and simultaneously depressed. I felt helpless because so much happened and I couldn’t do anything. Even though I was out of my cast, I didn’t want to do anything because I was afraid of breaking it again. I was weak.

    When I was a freshman, I was chubby and weak and schools opened back up. My older brother convinced me to play football with him for his last year of high school.  My brother was my role model because he was strong and confident. He was the one who taught me what strength was. Every down, we would go against each other on the line. He would knock me flat on my back and tell me to get up. I was scared of him. I would hide from him. I needed something to give me more confidence so I wrestled that year, lost some weight, and gained more confidence, but still I felt weak.

Sophomore year, I wrestled and I started a weightlifting journey that soon would become an obsession. Instead of needing motivation to lift in the morning, I became disciplined. Every weekday morning I would wake up at five am to become stronger. Every day I would put myself through the pain to become better. I would push myself to the limit every day. As a junior I was still lifting and putting in the work, but all the events, the move, the depression, my arm injury took a toll on me. I felt weak because I couldn’t do anything about it. Then, I found a philosophy called Stoicism. Stoicism is the endurance of pain or hardship without the display of feelings and complaint. As I studied further into Stoicism, I finally learned to let go of all the emotional baggage that was weighing me down. I knew I had no control over it and I couldn’t change it. I finally became stronger. 

    But then, another hardship came but it didn’t affect me. I was playing basketball and I fell on the side of my foot and “POP”. I broke my leg, but this time it didn't affect me. I knew that it was out of my control, so I didn’t have to be emotional about it. When I was on crutches I was doing so much on my own because I didn’t want to go back to my weak, helpless self. I even went to the gym and stayed disciplined so I could be stronger. Going through all of that changed me from a helpless, undisciplined boy to a disciplined, strong young man. My strength will help me be a beacon and leader for anyone who follows. I will use my unwavering spirit and determination to be an unmoving rock in the raging river of life.  The teaching in Stoicism and my built up discipline will be used to destroy any obstacle in my way and become better for everyone.