Makoto Nishi '24 Recruiting Profile

Broken Rackets

I excitedly delivered my favorite dish, yellowtail bathed in mirin, shining in the warmth of the sunlit hue, with chopsticks to taste its wonder. I look up to find familiar faces that have loved me since memory allows me. I couldn’t help but realize the gentle imprints time has marked on the most deserving people in the world.

My parents’ lifestyle has a huge impact: spending much of my early years deliberately studying and occasionally playing video games; I would’ve had to be paid millions to make me play a sport.

However life had its own agenda. My friend invited me to join his tennis team. Sick and tired of the same days to come and the feeling of emptiness, I resolved to experiment.

It didn’t take long until tennis swiftly ensnared my attention: the community, coach, and the demand for physical and mental fortitude chiseled the art of accomplishment.

While I was positive about my passion for tennis, the insecurity and the fear of inferiority stacked up. It was obvious I was the ugly duckling compared to my teammates who seemed to dictate effortlessly within the tennis court from a late starter point of view.

I would kill to achieve a goal. One more repetition than my teammates. Show up early and stay later than anybody else. Eating “healthier” than anybody else. Who knew this was only the beginning of the 3 years of struggles that are yet to sabotage my path.

As I pushed myself to a more and more intense standard, it didn’t take long until I found myself within the confines of a hospital room. Diagnosed with anorexia, I was ironically doing more harm to my body blinded by the hope to be accepted by my teammates and coaches.

Despite numerous struggles and thoughts of suicide, I recovered by high school; only to face another significant event that affected not only me but the entire world: COVID-19. As most refer to this as a global setback, I regarded this as an opportunity. Time for introspection and to revive my dormant tennis aspirations that I’ve failed previously, a second redemption.

Consistently, after many suicide conditioning and hours spent with the wall, I was able to become someone and to compete at an advanced level. It only took one wrong for everything to break down; in January of 2023, a fire broke out in my building which originated from the unit right next door to my home. Brutally affecting my house and absolutely creating what was a comfortable home to an unlivable environment in a matter of a single day.

Even the house- providing shelter and a feeling of home my entire life since immigration to Hawai’i- was vulnerable. Nothing is meant to last forever, with the exception of your own knowledge and experience. You could lose your house or even your limbs one day, but knowledge and experience are eternal and are invulnerable to external forces. 

Born into an Asian household, I was never pressured into success, rather I pushed myself to my limits. Therefore I occasionally step off the path to success as I did through spending nights at the hospital bed unable to even use the sink. Realizing that my body, house, parents, and tennis rackets are never permanent and nothing you have is guaranteed in life. 

If life was a person, they would be the most covetous person that has ever existed. However, despite the avarice wishes of life, there are few things they are incapable of stealing: knowledge and experience.

Today, I stare at my tennis racket, snapped in the neck due to constant pressure it deals during breath taking rallies. I appreciate the lessons my countless adversities have engraved within me: to pursue my education and the importance of appreciating what I have at the very moment- to spend time with my dearest people before it's too late.