Liliyah-Joy Quel-Kaina '24 Recruiting Profile

As a child, graduating from high school always seemed so far away, but now, at eighteen, I'm thinking about how fast my life went. Growing up, I wasn't the most outgoing person; I would tend to sit in a chair in the back of the class or close to the door. I struggled with making friends and talking to people, whether it was in groups or presenting. Having terrible people skills meant I had a hard time making friends. 

It was very hard for me during my first year of high school because we were online, and I didn't know anybody. My mother has always taken her role as a mother very seriously, and she was afraid for me. She worried I would get into trouble because of my shy, introverted personality, thinking others would take advantage of it. So, she had a rigorous schedule to ensure I would go home and do something productive right after school. But then, one night, she had this grand idea of making me join softball. Of course, I never played any sport growing up, and I was against the whole idea, but little did I know that that same decision would change my life. 

Being a green (inexperienced) player always made me anxious around all the better players. I always felt that pressure to perform as well as the others around me, and I always strived to be perfect because I feared failing, but I didn't know that this kind of perfectionism and fear of failure mindset made me perform worse.  Initially, I didn't realize what it had been doing to me, and I always thought I wasn't good enough to keep playing, but one day, my coach pulled me aside for a one-on-one talk. He asked what went through my head during each play and the thoughts that came when I made a mistake. I told how I was scared to be the reason my team didn't do well. I was scared to disappoint them and tried to do everything I could to look as good as them. He looked me in the eye and told me I would never be as good as them. This statement took me by surprise cause hearing myself say that is one thing, but having someone else say it too was another, but then he proceeded to explain why. He asked me how long have I been playing, and I told him two months, “That's right, and all these other girls have been playing for almost their whole lives. How can you expect yourself to be just as good as they are in just two months?”. I responded, “I can’t,” he continued, “Why compare yourself to them? Why give yourself all this unnecessary pressure when you can celebrate all the little things you've been able to accomplish this far? Failure is normal, and everyone experiences this because we are human, but fearing failure will only make it more likely to happen. All I can ask from you is to push yourself to work hard. I don’t need you being number one in the state; I just need you to be the best player you can be ”.

Hearing those words of encouragement and motivation helped me get past this hurtful mindset, allowing me to feel relaxed, happy, and at ease with myself and my performance.  This experience and many more have taught me the meaning of self-confidence, commitment, hard work, and dedication. My coach always had a saying, "No grumble and press on,"  which is what I try to apply to my everyday life. It helped me to accept my failures, learn from them, and move on. Being on this team allowed me to see a new light in life where I don't have to be alone and can depend on others. I have transformed not only as a person but as an independent woman who can speak to my peers and accept the challenges school and life throws at me. I won't give up and will do whatever it takes to accomplish my goals.

I want to apply what I have learned over these past three years to my college life and later on into my adult life. At Chaminade, I want to try new things and continue to grow as a person. In addition, I want to go out and help others find closure so they may move on. The forensics major is a great way to do so. Forensic is not only about the scene; it's about finding clues and evidence to benefit someone. My long-term goal is to become someone people can look up to and teach them that it's alright to fail and to make sure you learn from it and move on to improve.